How to actually make friends in The Hague

Fifty-two per cent of adults in Haaglanden report feeling moderately to strongly lonely, against 46% nationally, and The Hague scores highest of the big Dutch cities.

That is the region’s own public health monitor for 2024, surveying everyone aged 18 and over, and it is worth knowing before you conclude that the difficulty is something about you.

Why it is harder here than it looks

The Netherlands is an easy country to live in and a slow one to make friends in.

Dutch social circles tend to form at primary school, at university and at the sports club, and they stay formed.

Nobody is being unfriendly.

They simply already have the friends they were planning to have, and the diary is full three weeks out.

That agenda culture is the thing internationals misread most often.

A Dutch colleague suggesting a drink in a fortnight is not putting you off; that is genuinely how the week is organised.

The conventions are set out in birthdays, borrels and the Dutch social rules, and the communication style that goes with them in Dutch directness.

The practical consequence is that friendship here is a structural problem rather than a charm problem.

What works is putting yourself in the same room as the same people, repeatedly, for months.

What does not work is waiting to be invited.

Start with the free desk that exists for precisely this

ACCESS is a not-for-profit run by volunteers who moved here themselves, and it has been helping internationals for more than 35 years, free of charge.

There is no membership and no fee.

Its helpdesk answers questions about moving to, living in and leaving the Netherlands on 085 4000 338, Monday to Friday from 10.00 to 14.00.

Its in-person desk sits inside The Hague International Centre, open Monday to Friday from 09.00 to 17.00, and its own invitation is worth quoting: do drop by with your questions, or for a chat.

ACCESS itself runs on roughly 140 volunteers from more than 40 nationalities, which makes volunteering for it one of the more direct routes into an international circle.

Note that its counselling network is a referral service to licensed professionals who set their own fees, so that part is not free.

The Hague International Centre is the municipal desk, in the atrium of City Hall at Spui 70, open Monday to Thursday from 09.00 to 17.00.

It also runs Feel at Home events aimed squarely at new arrivals: the autumn 2026 one is on Monday 28 September from 17.00 to 20.00 at The Grey Space in The Middle, Paviljoensgracht 20-24, with refreshments, live music and a social networking game.

What the Centre does on the paperwork side is in The Hague International Centre.

Meetup is where the volume actually is

The English-language social scene in this city runs on Meetup more than on anything else, and the group sizes are not small.

Activities for Internationals in The Hague had 4,206 members in September 2026.

Meet The Internationals had 3,965, Expat Republic Den Haag 3,604, and Amazing The Hague Social Fun Expat Activities 3,427.

The Hague Social 40+, for anyone who finds the twenty-somethings exhausting, had 304.

The largest of them describes itself as being for national and international people who want to get together, socialise and have fun, running board game nights, pub quizzes and theme nights, with the line that everyone is welcome whatever their age or nationality.

Most of its events are free and most happen at The Golden Stork hostel, Bierkade 22.

Two practical notes.

Show up more than once: the point of a recurring group is that faces repeat, and one visit produces nothing.

And ignore any guide that sends you to the old thehaguesocial group, which no longer exists.

The free Dutch conversation groups, which are the best-kept secret in the city

Taal in de Bibliotheek runs conversation groups in 22 locations across The Hague, run with Taal aan Zee.

Participation is free and no registration is needed.

You need roughly A1 Dutch, which is very little, and the entire purpose is to sit in a room with strangers and talk.

The sessions are spread through the week and across the city: the central library at Spui 68 on Tuesdays from 13.30, Benoordenhout at Wassenaarseweg 220 on Tuesdays from 14.00, Bezuidenhout at Theresiastraat 195 on Mondays from 11.00, Scheveningen at Scheveningseweg 333 on Thursdays from 10.00, Laakkwartier at Linnaeusstraat 2 on Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays, Ypenburg at Schrabber 8 on Fridays from 10.00, and the Bomenbuurt at Fahrenheitstraat 707 on Friday evenings from 18.15.

The libraries in The Hague all carry the schedule.

If you want structured lessons alongside it, learning Dutch in The Hague compares what the language schools in The Hague charge, and whether you actually need Dutch here is the honest answer to the prior question.

The city has a loneliness programme, and it is not only for pensioners

Den Haag runs Eerste Hulp bij Eenzaamheid, first aid for loneliness, reachable on 14070 and by live chat, with separate routes for young people, adults, and people worried about somebody else.

Its own opening line is blunt: many people in The Hague often feel alone.

The adult programme names specific things you can join.

Resto VanHarte cooks and eats with other people with the explicit aim of reducing loneliness, and runs in Ypenburg on Tuesdays, Leidschenveen on Wednesdays, Kortenbos on Thursdays and Loosduinen on Fridays.

Go Mingle and Joinby are apps for finding people to do things with.

OpenJeHart works on getting people moving and meeting.

Stichting Voorall runs activities for people with and without a disability.

Haags Ontmoeten is the other municipal answer: 64 drop-in meeting places across every district where you can walk in for a coffee, and it is free.

It is aimed at frail older people, people with early dementia and their carers rather than at any particular age, so it is the right suggestion for a parent who has followed you here and the wrong one for a thirty-year-old.

Servicepunt XL, seventeen neighbourhood help points, is the general front door for anyone in the city with a question or a problem.

What actually works, in order

Join something that meets weekly and has a register.

A sports club is the strongest version of this and the one Dutch people themselves use, which is why sports clubs and how joining one works here is the most useful page on this site for anyone arriving alone.

The bar shift and the committee are not the price of membership; they are the mechanism.

Second, volunteer.

It puts you beside the same people on the same evening every week, gives you something to talk about that is not yourself, and in this city it is unusually well organised: volunteering in The Hague has the routes in.

Third, take a course rather than a class.

Something with a fixed group over ten weeks beats a drop-in, and hobby groups, makers and evening classes lists what exists and what it costs.

Fourth, if your budget allows and you want a ready-made list of people, the paid clubs do work, and the international networks and which are worth the fee is an honest assessment of what the hundred euros buys.

And fifth, get comfortable going out on your own, because the alternative is staying in.

The Hague is small and the same faces recur in the same bars, which is exactly the argument in going out alone in The Hague.

Cafes in The Hague where nobody minds a single person with a book are not hard to find once you start looking.

One last thing, which is the part people get wrong.

The international scene is easy to enter and easy to get stuck in, because it turns over constantly: the friends you make in your first year will substantially have left by your fourth.

If you want a life here rather than a posting, at least some of your circle needs to be people who are not going anywhere, and that means Dutch clubs, Dutch neighbours and enough Dutch to be in the room.

Which district you are in changes how easy that is, and which district suits which life is honest about which ones are hard to arrive in cold.

Sources

• GGD Haaglanden, Gezondheidsmonitor Volwassenen en Ouderen 2024, as reported June 2025: “52% van de volwassenen in Haaglanden voelt zich matig tot (zeer) sterk eenzaam, tegenover 46% landelijk” and “Den Haag scoort het hoogst van de grote steden op eenzaamheid”; the survey covering residents of 18 and over, with loneliness remaining high among those aged 18 to 64
• ACCESS (access-nl.org): “ACCESS has been helping internationals for more than 35 years, free of charge”; “ACCESS, a local not-for-profit organisation, managed by volunteers – who moved here themselves – is here to help”; helpdesk Monday to Friday 10.00 to 14.00 on +31 (0)85 4000 338; in-person helpdesk at The Hague International Centre Monday to Friday 09.00 to 17.00 with the invitation “DO DROP BY WITH YOUR QUESTIONS, OR FOR A CHAT”; “We have approximately 140 volunteers from more than 40 different nationalities”; the ACCESS Counselling Service Network consisting of licensed professionals whose “Fees are set by the individual counsellors”
• The Hague International Centre (thehagueinternationalcentre.nl), City Hall atrium, Spui 70: “We guide international newcomers to live, work and study in The Hague region”; opening hours Monday to Thursday 09.00 to 17.00; Feel at Home event listed for Monday 28 September 2026, 17.00 to 20.00, at The Grey Space in The Middle, Paviljoensgracht 20-24, Den Haag
• The Hague Online (thehagueonline.com): has “supported the international community since 2004, by providing English-language news and events about life in The Hague and beyond. We are a social enterprise with a focus on community and inclusion”
• Meetup.com member counts as displayed on 11 September 2026: Activities for internationals in The Hague 4,206 members; Meet The Internationals 3,965; Expat Republic Den Haag 3,604; Amazing The Hague Social Fun Expat Activities 3,427; The Hague Social 40+ 304. The largest group describing itself as “for national and international people in The Hague who are excited to get together, socialize and have fun”, running “board game nights to pub quizzes, theme nights, and more”, noting “Most of the events are free”, with events at The Golden Stork hostel, Bierkade 22. The former thehaguesocial group returns “Sorry, the group you’re looking for doesn’t exist”
• Bibliotheek Den Haag, Taal in de Bibliotheek, run with Taal aan Zee: “Deelname is gratis. Aanmelden is niet nodig”; 22 locations with a minimum level of A1; the published schedule including Centrale Bibliotheek Spui 68 Tuesdays 13.30 to 15.00, Benoordenhout Wassenaarseweg 220 Tuesdays 14.00 to 15.30, Bezuidenhout Theresiastraat 195 Mondays 11.00 to 12.30, Scheveningen Scheveningseweg 333 Thursdays 10.00 to 11.30, Laakkwartier Linnaeusstraat 2 Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays, Ypenburg Schrabber 8 Fridays 10.00 to 11.30, and Bomenbuurt Fahrenheitstraat 707 Fridays 18.15 to 19.45
• Gemeente Den Haag, Eerste Hulp bij Eenzaamheid: “Veel mensen in Den Haag voelen zich vaak alleen”; four routes plus telephone 14070 and live chat; named initiatives Resto VanHarte (“samen met anderen koken en eten. Het doel is om eenzaamheid te verminderen”), Go Mingle, OpenJeHart, Joinby and Stichting Voorall. Resto VanHarte Den Haag locations: Buurthuis De Yp, Oeverwallaan 130, Ypenburg, Tuesdays; De Huiskamer van Leidschenveen, Harriet Freezerhof 201, Wednesdays; De Kronkel, Westeinde 425, Kortenbos, Thursdays; Wijkcentrum De Geest, George Bizetstraat 25, Loosduinen, Fridays
• Haags Ontmoeten (haagsontmoeten.nl) and gemeente Den Haag: “In Den Haag zijn 64 ontmoetingsplekken waar ouderen en hun mantelzorgers vrij binnen kunnen lopen” and “Bij Haags Ontmoeten bent u altijd welkom om een kopje koffie te drinken of samen activiteiten te doen. Het is gratis”; the target group described as “kwetsbare ouderen, mensen met (beginnende) dementie en hun mantelzorgers”, with no age minimum published
• Servicepunt XL (servicepuntxl.nl and denhaag.nl): seventeen neighbourhood locations; “Het Servicepunt XL is er voor alle inwoners van Den Haag met een vraag of probleem. Voor jongeren, volwassenen en ouderen”; telephone 088 298 65 20, and 070 416 20 20 for Scheveningen